Are you feeling a void inside? Do you prefer darkness over light? Is there something that doesn't let you sleep, you want to change everything that happened, perhaps you want to go back into the past and change things that just got worse, and THAT WHICH YOU CANNOT? Regretting every second of it, sulking inside with no hunger, no determination to start over again? You feel you are slipping away with no passion, you get anxious even to the notification of a message or a doorbell ring or when your phone when it rings, You start crying over small things and you actually don't know why you are doing so! My Friend this slipping of quicksand from your feet and swallowing you whole is "Depression" -The need of the hour, The need of today!
The topic that I chose to write about is "Depression in Islam".
Depression is one of the serious existing mental disorders in the world, and considering the fact that our lifestyle, lifecycle, and exposure to hectic work, finance, taxes, relationships, responsibilities, etc., have become so fast-paced that we hardly get time to sit and realize what actually is happening to us within, how stressed our body is, how anxious our mind has become that it craves for peace and silence. And this is growing at an alarming rate consuming in the youth of today.
Have you ever witnessed your heartbeats pounding, breathing rapidly, sweating, feverish, feeling weak, and failing to concentrate on certain days like for example, there is an interview, the first day of your board exams, or on your wedding day, or when something BIG happens, but trust me it's just fine if it happens on certain days, it happens to all of us, but the actual problem is when this happens to a person every time, every day, every minute of their lives for months which becomes a synonym of slow-poisoning or is it the slow process of engulfing oneself into the quicksand?
Let's learn the difference between anxiety and depression:
ANXIETY: In anxiety, the imbalance of chemical substances in the amygdala (junction for emotions in the brain) floods the system with cortisol (steroid hormone) and norepinephrine (a stress hormone). To treat stress they often use serotonin (a happy chemical) as one of the therapies for stress management.
DEPRESSION: In depression, the hippocampus (a part of the brain involved in the regulation of emotions and a long term memory) stops producing new neurons, and frontal lobe (also a part of the brain involved in planning and decision making) gets shrunken in depressed people.
Do we have the mention of depression in Islam? Before that I want to tell you the scientific reality of depression, as we all know depression is classified into four categories:
1. Physical: Which includes alcoholism, drugs, hyperthyroidism, nutritional deficiencies, insomnia, medication, chronic disease, menopause, etc.,
2. Mental: Genetic disorder, obsessive personality, jealousy, etc.,
3. Social: Death of a loved one, separation in a relationship, abuse, isolation, loss of jobs/poverty, etc.,
4. Spiritual: Sinning in abundance, major sins with wrong intentions, and no repentance.
Walking out of depression is like a warrior storming out of the battlefield defeating the poisonous illness, depression is a disease that has to be cured at the earliest with the strongest will power to get over it, if one refrains from getting over depression then life gets sunk deeper into the wounds of black hole and it gets lost without any trace by losing everything.
So Islamically, Allah swt has mentioned in the Holy Qur'an with a beautiful small ayath:
"Verily in the remembrance of Allah swt, do hearts find rest!" -Surat Ar-Ra'd: 28
Allah swt says, It is in the remembrance of Allah swt alone that the hearts really find peace, those who believe and find peace in their hearts from the contemplation of Allah, Surely there is peace of heart in the contemplation of Allah.
Kill depression before it kills you, WHY should you do this?
Despite the fact that depression is caused due to physical, mental, social aspects, we also have the spiritual aspect in Islam wherein Allah swt has spoken various times about "Sabr" and "Life on this earth". If we understand these two aspects no matter how difficult a situation is it just eases, and this is practical because there are certain instances in life where "Hope" is the only branch a person clings on no matter how deep the valley is, this "Hope" is the unshakable faith in the Almighty, that no matter what happens, no matter what is lost, there is always Him,
Allah swt says "And said your Lord, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." -Surat Ghafir: 60
Generally, people fall into depression because of the lack of spiritual connect with Allah swt, they start losing their will to live whilst failing to understand the decree of Allah swt, also called as "al-qada' wa'l-qadr" which clearly states a believer as to whatever happens is from the Qadr of Allah swt and giving respite from the situation no matter how grievous it is the help is from Him, so Allah swt asks his servants to keep repenting to Him and call upon Him.
Allah swt says " They will call them, "Were not we with you?" They will say, "Yes, but you led to temptation yourselves and you awaited and you doubted and deceived you the wishful thinking until came (the) Command (of) Allah. And deceived you about Allah the deceiver." -Surat Al-Hadid: 14
Whatever the cause of these mental health conditions may be, severe anxiety and depression inevitably lead you away from Allah and Islam. Grief and sufferings of different intensities befall everyone. Remember, grief (extreme sorrow) and mild anxiety can bring you closer to Allah swt because the element of hope is still alive.
But severe depression, on the other hand, strips you of all hope and trust in Allah swt. All the negative feelings of hate and self-loathing that nurture in the hearts of depressed Muslims, consequently lead to low self-esteem, more sinning, fewer duas, and a weakened spiritual connection with The Almighty Allah. Similarly, in extreme levels of anxiety, the Muslim loses tawakkul (trust) in Allah. The state of an anxious/ depressed Muslim goes against the belief system of Islam.
Allah swt says "And never give up hope of Allah’s soothing mercy: truly no one despairs of Allah’s soothing mercy, except those who have no faith". -Surat Yusuf: 87
My friend please remember that there is nobody who can help you come out of this unless you make up your mind to get out of this, Islam has a way for everything in Life, Everything!! All we need to do is calling out to Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim, Al-Kareem, Al-Jabbar Ya Rabbul Al-Ameen.
Brief points summarized, How to overcome depression?
1. Early to bed early to rise: Wake up for Fajr, even if you miss praying before dawn push yourself out of bed whenever you open your eyes, make wudu pray! followed by dhikr, tilawat-e-qur'an (If your work schedule is hectic keep it brief and get busy with heading towards work) but make sure you keep trying this and finally make a habit to wake up before dawn, InshaAllah.
2. Giving up on Haram relationships/habits: The relation which is not accepted by Allah is not going anywhere as you dream, so make the relationship Halal, get married and not waiting for somebody to commit who keep delaying commitment because of his/her worldly desires, there is no use to be with such people and such relation which Allah swt called it "HARAM". Similarly, in case you have developed an intoxicating habit like alcohol, drugs, smoking, gambling, etc., please try to shun these out of your life and fear Allah swt in every aspect of your lives.
3. Never give up even if you fail a multiple times, you couldn't make it to Fajr today, it's not okay but still keep trying, wake up tomorrow, if not again, have the will-power to do and surely the mercy of Allah swt will be upon you and He will surely help you. The same applies to a job, university admission, promotions, marriage, etc., Never let Shaytaan enter your head and start directing you, do not listen to Shaytaan and his insane voices because he spews only dirt and venom in our ears and takes us over when we feel the lowest, fight back this is an examination and Allah will help you emerge stronger because He is with you. So my friends, don’t let past mistakes define you. Don’t let repeated mistakes define you. The only thing that should define you, is your niyyah (intention).
4. Developing something called emotional resilience, when there are lots of voices in your head, when somebody is very rude to you, trash behavior, sarcasm, anxiety that gets so much bothering you lose your mind, just walk away from that place/situation, go wash your face, or lie down, or sleep or listen to Surat Baqarah or do the breath in and breath out exercise, this is the moment that all you need is yourself and Allah, start praying, cry, ask Him, sujood and am sure He would come running to you. There was a point in my own life that I used to break down in sujood and He listened to me, He came running to me when I went walking to Him and He blessed me with things my little mind hadn't ever dreamt of, look at His mercy, look at how much He loves us. Ask Him, He is closer to us than our jugular vein.
The benefits of practicing emotional resilience are:
- You will save yourself from creating an emotional outburst ( yelling, shouting, crying, cursing, etc )
- You will save others from getting hurt or disturbed by your emotional outburst.
- You will raise your self-esteem a little every day.
- You will become a more optimistic and positive Muslim (this wouldn't happen overnight, keep trying)
5. Driveaway: Choose a gateway (quite far, serene, calm, preferably a sea/ocean or cruise ride, landscapes) learn driving your car, have fun exploring new places, visiting new cities, visit new countries, in case you have time why don't you end up taking an Umrah pilgrimage or more privileged you can take up the Hajj pilgrimage to connect with Almighty which makes us realize there is nothing more important on earth other than calling Him and asking Him for forgiveness, trust me after shedding those tears and drinking a glass of cold zamzam you will feel completely surrendered in His immense love, in His care, in His tranquility, the worldly desires wither away just like the leaves wither in the fall season.
6. Comparison and Expectation: Avoid social media at the most, please stop comparing your lives to somebody else's. Have gratitude for what Allah swt has given you, be compassionate, practice a lot of charity it surely gives us happiness, and please let's end these expectations we have from others. Let's start doing this and practicing these things slowly and life becomes so easy for us. InshaAllah, InshaAllahu Khayr.
Please sponge out the negative energy boiling inside you and have tawakkul on Allah swt over anything and everything for He has made a religion called Islam which has a solution for everything in this life, for this life is just an examination for all of us, Turn to Him before it is too late.
JazakaAllahu Khayral Jaza...
